Vacation With Caduceus
by Meeko-the-One-Armed-Dragon
Summary: Post-SO. THIS, my friends, is why Sidney never lets the gang have a break. Warning: includes strange jokes, boots, DerekxAngie, stupid plans, a bit of SidneyxVictor, ice cream-phobia, time travel, and impossible situations.
1. How the Madness Began

AN: This fic contains major pairing support and maybe some OOC, so BEWARE.

Disclaimer: I don't own Trauma Center…*runs off to find out if Atlus holds any stocks*.

* * *

Chapter One

How the Madness Began

* * *

It was a stereotypical sweltering summer day, also known as the time when the adults stay at work sweating most of the sodium out of their bodies while the kids out of school get to get fat, lazy, and staying cool while doing so.

One would think that a top-notch hospital such as say, Caduceus, would provide air conditioning to its employees. Contrary to that belief, cold air was a patient-only privilege. The building's director was very picky about "unnecessary" luxuries.

Down in the east wing of the hospital, Derek Stiles collapsed on the floor. Angie Thompson, passing by, witnessed this and pulled the surgeon up by the ear.

"Ow, Ang! Why did you do that!?"

"Derek, although it's hot out, you do not have heat stroke, so stop pretend to." The blond nurse let go of her partner's hearing implement.

Rubbing on the sore body part, Derek fell into a nearby chair. "I wish I did! That way I could go lay in an air-conditioned room instead of staying inside this desert-in-a-hallway."

Finding nothing to object to that theory, Angie sighed. "Alright. But there's an op in seventy-five minutes, so don't get sick until then."

"Don't worry Ang, I'll be on time."

Eighty-five minutes later…

"Honesty, one would think that a world-renowned doctor would be on time for his scheduled operations…" Angie commented, watching Derek barge into the OR.

It took a few seconds for him to catch his breath before replying, "Sorry Ang, but I was sitting in a patient's room and completely lost track of time! I mean, it was so air conditioned…"

His nurse just sighed. "Whatever. Just pay attention to the operation."

Derek readjusted his glasses before standing straight up. "Okay, so what's the operation's objective?"

"The patient, Joe Average, has appendicitis," Angie reported, scanning the charts in front of her. "It hasn't progressed too far, however it's still too late to treat it with antibiotics."

"So we tie, sever, drain, and then remove the appendix, correct?"

"Correct."

He pushed the glasses up his nose, ready to go to business. "Alright, let's begin the operation-"

That's when the AC decided to shut off.

Angie looked up at the piece of machinery, which had stopped blasting out cool air. "What happened?"

The PA system fizzed to life, as if it had heard her question. "Attention all Caduceus doctors, attention all Caduceus doctors. The AC for all of the ORs has experienced some technical difficulties. All scheduled operations today are cancelled. I repeat, all scheduled operations are cancelled. Thank you and have a nice day." Then the speaker person hung up.

Derek and Angie looked at each other, the EKG being the only thing that made a sound. "Well that was unexpected…" Derek glanced at the patient.

"…what are we supposed to do with the patient?"

* * *

Derek wiped some of the sweat off his brow using his arm. "So…what do we do?"

That was the question, to do or not to do. The two were sitting in their office with nothing to do but paperwork. Problem is that Derek would rather brush his teeth with nails and lose his Healing Touch than do paperwork (or maybe just the nail-tooth treatment.).

Although Angie would love to force her partner into filling some of the mounds of files on his desk, even she was too hot to write anything. "We could go get ice cream…" she suggested, always willing to get a nice orange cream cone.

"Hm…nah. First, we would have to go outside. Second, Director Kasal would kill us if we sneaked out of Caduceus."

"We could get ice cubes from the cafeteria."

"But we'd have to WALK all the way to the cafeteria!"

"I'm pretty sure you're not that lazy."

"Heat makes me sluggish."

"What about coffee? Will that make you move?"

"Coffee's hot, and it doesn't taste good cold!"

"You're hard to please, you know that."

"You are too…"

Right after that statement was spoken, they both noticed a person lurking behind their office door, who immediately retreated as soon as it felt their eyes.

Derek grinned. "I wonder who that is?"

"I have no idea," Angie replied with a similar smile. "Now, where were we…"

At that moment, Tyler burst into the office and held up a water gun, action-hero style. "Freeze Stiles!" he shouted, also action-hero style.

Luckily, Sidney came walking by. "Dr. Chase, if you don't want to be fired, put that water gun down," he said casually, and then left. The said doctor did as ordered reluctantly.

"So what brings you to our neck of the woods Tyler?" Derek asked, swiveling his chair around.

"Well, I was staying in one of my patient's rooms until Sid kicked me out, so I thought I could help some people cool down!" the blondie replied, inching his hand towards the water gun.

"And who did you already service?" Angie questioned while simultaneously giving him the don't-touch-that-unless-you-want-to-be-flipped-into-the-nearest-garabage-can look.

Tyler seemed to get the message and withdrew his hand. "Victor, Leslie, and Cybil," he announced. "They all got pretty steamed though. Man, I thought I would be a goner back there!"

Flipping through his schedule book in boredom, Derek noticed something written there. "Hey, do you two want to go up with me and go to R&D to help Victor out with something? That entire wing is air conditioned…" he asked while ignoring the glare from Angie which seemed to growl, "You can walk up a flight of stairs and halfway across the building but you can't go downstairs to get a few ice cubes?"

His best friend jumped up. "Sure would! Let's go!"

Then the speaker buzzed and announced, "Attention all Caduceus staff, attention all Caduceus staff. The central air-conditioning system has broken down, so all air conditioners have stopped functioning. Because all air conditioners in stores have been stolen from every store in the area and repair technicians have also been mysteriously kidnapped, all patients will be transferred to another hospital and Caduceus will be closed for the remainder of the week, starting now. I repeat, all patients will be transferred to another hospital and Caduceus will be closed for the remainder of the week, starting now. Thank you and have a nice vacation."

After the click that said the announcement was over, the entire hospital was silent. Then a large wave of cheering rolled through the facility like an audience doing the wave and a steady stream of doctors ran out of the hospital, throwing caps and coats into the air. Pretty soon the building was completely deserted excluding Derek and the gang. (Oh, and Victor.)

"A vacation for five days, hm?" Derek leaned back in his chair.

"How about a group trip to the beach?"

* * *

One chapter down, who knows how many to go!

This is for TCGeek 'cause I said I would do a DerekxAngie fic, and I got this idea. (Don't worry, it'll have DxA later on)

And orange cream ice cream FTW!


	2. Road Trip!

AN: Beware of my horribly horrible writing skills and inability to write characters that stay in character!

Disclaimer: If I owned Trauma Center, then Derek and Angie would get married already along with Tyler and Leslie. Well, at least DxA is cannon now. Oh, and I don't own Boot to the Head either.

* * *

Chapter Two

Road Trip!

* * *

It was official.

Derek would provide the transportation, Tyler the lodging. They would stay for five days at Angles Resort Beach Hotel next to the beach, which was world-famous for its boardwalk, nightlife, gambling, and "Hot chics!" as Tyler put it, which made Angie roll her eyes. So far Derek, Angie, Tyler, and Leslie were coming, Greg and Cybil were seeing if their schedule was free for the week, and they were all trying to convince Sidney and Victor to come along.

It was going to be one heck of a vacation…

* * *

"How was I convinced to join you idiots?" Victor grumbled for the umpteenth time, clad in both a black shirt and a black pair of pants and currently squished between Leslie and Tyler.

"Because if you didn't agree, your working hours would be halved and limited to Monday through Saturday," Sidney replied without glancing at the researcher. The director of Caduceus was wearing his suit and tie, much to the surprise of everyone.

"Director Kasal sure knows how to get Victor to do what he wants," Derek, who was driving the SUV, commented to Angie, watching Victor mumble a long string of curses under his breath.

The nurse chuckled, dressed in a white tank top and a blue skirt. "Yeah…one would think they were dating or something!"

Tyler piped up from the backseat. "Hey Greggy, how did you convince Sid to come along?"

The head surgeon of Hope Hospital grinned, sitting just behind Derek and Angie but in front of his brother and clothed in a white polo and jean shorts. "Easy. I just told him that if he didn't come, I would tell everyone about the li-"

Sidney's glare phased through the chair and bore into his twin's head like surgical lasers. "Gregory Kasal…"

"Um…never mind…"

After that, silence until…

"Derek, don't you have anything besides heavy metal CDs?" Angie asked, glancing towards the car speakers that were blaring out something that should not be called music but rather a planned hissy fit.

Sighing, he reached into a compartment that held all of his CDs. "Well, I have something from Puerto Rico," he said, taking out a disk.

Putting it in, they waited for a second but no music came out. Confused, Derek reached for the volume knob and turned it up all the way, seeing if there was any sound. Immediately afterwards…

"_**AHOLA AMIGOOOOOSSSS!!!!!!**_"

The volume busted all of their ear drums and sent them all withering in pain. The decibel level was so high that the windshield started to gain cracks. Scrambling for the knob, Derek turned the volume down until it wasn't rock-concert volume.

A few seconds were spent recovering.

"Alright…no more of that then…"

* * *

"Are we there yet?" Tyler whined, earning him an annoyed glare from everyone in the car.

"For the seventh time, no," Derek growled, looking at the mirror to glare at his friend. "When you see a beach, we're there, so stop asking!"

The blond surgeon reached into his bag and took out a postcard of the beach. Looking at the photo, he said, "I see a beach, so we're there, right?"

Derek facepalmed.

Angie sighed.

Greg snickered.

Cybil headchaired.

Sidney was unamused.

Leslie giggled.

Victor mumbled something unprintable.

And a bug flew in through a convenient open window and bit Tyler.

"Ack! Stupid mosquito!"

* * *

"I know! We can pass the time with a puzzle!" Greg exclaimed, looking backwards towards the four there. "It's a good one too; it took Sid a week before he figured it out!" Sidney continued being unamused.

Continuing, Greg explained. "It's a game called Mary and Ned. You all have to figure out the rules of the game by asking me yes or no questions. And remember…" Here he made box gestures. "Think _outside_ the box!"

Derek started off. "Does it involve running?"

"No," Greg answered, looking a tad bit smug.

"How about jogging?" Angie asked.

"Yes."

"Is it like tag?"

"No."

"Does it have something to do with video games?"

"Yes."

"Does it involve Mario?"

"Yes."

"Luigi?"

"Yes."

"Peach?"

"No."

"Koopas?"

"Yes."

"Yoshi?"

"No."

"Stars?"

"No."

"Mushrooms?"

"Yes."

"Castles?"

"Yes."

"Is the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom involved?"

"Yes."

"Wait, you just said that she wasn't it in the game!"

"Well, you're not thinking outside the box!"

"Hm…is the sky green?"

"Yes."

"The car blue?"

"Yes."

"Is up down?"

"Yes."

"Right left?"

"Yes!"

"I've got it!" Tyler shouted. "You say the opposite of what you're supposed to say!" He finished with the Fingerpoint of Justice ™.

"Nope!" Greg cheerily replied. "And that's the game answer and the real answer."

"'Game answer'? What's that supposed to mean?"

"I can't answer that."

"Back to square one…is there a table in the game?"

"Yeah."

"Do you play with cards?"

"Yes."

"Jacks?"

"Yup."

"Aces?"

"Yup!"

"So it's a card game, right?"

"Nope!"

"But doesn't it have something to do with cards, jacks, and aces?"

"Yeah."

"ARGH!" Tyler yelled, messing his hair up in frustration. "This makes no sense! It's a humongous contradiction!!"

Greg continued to look very pleased with himself. "You may see contradictions, but I see none." Recognizing the confused look the doctor gave him, he then suggested, "How about we continue playing this at a later time?"

Derek glanced back at his mentor. "No objections here."

* * *

"Greg?"

The Kasal twin turned around to get a smelly boot to his face, which slowly slid down his face. "What the hell was that!?" he snapped, glaring at a certain prankster.

All Tyler did was point at him and declare, "I decree a boot to the head!"

Derek sighed, hearing the conversation behind him. "Someone's been on Youtube way too long."

* * *

"Finally!" Cybil chirped, looking out the window. "We're at the beach!"

Tyler automatically plastered his face to the window. "Really!? My god, we are!"

Derek, who was more than pleased to have almost reached their destination after more than an hour of driving, hummed along with the Spanish song playing and relaxed. They were going to chill out on the beach after a year of no vacation, and hopefully no operations to worry about. After all, what danger could a person possibly get into on the shore?

"Derek, TURN!" Angie shouted, snapping the driver out of his thoughts just in time to see the turn towards their hotel right next to them.

"Crud! Everyone, hold tight!" Derek yelled, then hit the brakes and spun the steering wheel rapidly to the right, drifting like in the video games and then hitting the gas, shooting forward with a loud screech of the tires.

"Well, that wasn't too bad, right guys? Guys?" He looked behind him when no one answered and saw that everyone was sitting there dazed, not to mention Tyler and Cybil's faces were planted against the window. "Yikes," Derek muttered, taking his eyes off the road in front of him.

That's when a speed bump decided to make itself known and sent the car (which was going at around 35 mph) flying off the pavement like it had hit a ramp, causing a fair bit of panic it the vehicle and not to mention bruised heads, and landed with a thud, shaking the vehicle and causing a bit of water to spill on some nearby legs.

So remember readers, keep your eyes on the road at all times!

* * *

Fail ending is fail.

Speed bumps are really scary, especially when the driver isn't a person known for being slow and there are three of them in a row. My sister and I yelled at her for awhile.

Mary and Ned is a really fun game. We played it during summer camp once, and it took my class around an hour to finally get it! Feel free to send in your own answers anytime. And remember, think OUTSIDE the box!

Oh, and I decree a boot to the head to whoever reads this sentence.


End file.
